sometimes i wonder if i deviated from the life i was meant to live, because somehow you still show up in my dreams, and im afraid i’ll never know what that means
idk this might be the only safe quiet space i have left
it feels like ive talked and talked and talked about these feelings to everyone who would listen and they just aren’t going anywhere
i wonder what it is about me that makes people not want to commit. why it happens every time. I’ve given space, ive been present, ive followed their lead. ive done everything i could think of for them to feel comfortable and still it’s ends up with me having too many feelings for someone who makes me feel so disposable. it’s happened to me so many times. im tired of feeling like im not worth it when i know that i am. tired of not being seen for who i am or what i can bring to the table. tired of people realizing too late that maybe i am good for them. that maybe i am worth that extra bit of effort.
i keep trying to tell myself that something better will come along. that what’s for me will find me and all of this pain and crying and emptiness will be something i can laugh at because when it does find me everything else will just not matter anymore. i keep trying to convince myself that of course love will find me. i have so much to give, how could it not? but still im stuck with this sick feeling in my gut. like ive been used and tossed to the side without any regard. i was better off when i was alone. i gave this a fair shot and still ended up hurt. i don’t want to feel like this ever again.
i just want to find my forever person and enjoy the rest of our lives together already.
There’s a girl that you have to meet. She is perfect for you. And has she met you? No, she has not.
(via televisionseries)
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY